Monday, 6 July 2015

BOOK SALE! All Imajin Books on Half Price or Less!


LAND'S END TRILOGY - HALF PRICE! 
2.99 on Amazon  click here 
Rowena Through the Wall - .99!  click here

Rowena and the Dark Lord - .99!  click here

Rowena and the Viking Warlord - 1.99!  click here

Code Name: Gypsy Moth - .99!  click here

A Purse to Die For - .99!  click here


IT'S ALL OVER ON JULY 13, SO GET YOUR COPIES NOW!

Thursday, 2 July 2015

2015 Summer Sizzles with Imajin Books!

 

*1 - 'Share the Imajin Books Buzz' contest: Share our events on Twitter and Facebook, and share pics of our books on ereaders or you holding one, and receive entries into our Summer Sizzles Giveaway! Grand prize winner: 12 free ebooks (winner’s choice). Plus 10 winners of single ebooks. Open to anyone 18+. Void where prohibited. Draw will take place the first week of August. Rafflecopter form for contest entries will be at https://www.facebook.com/imajinbooks/app_228910107186452 from July 1-31, 2015. Be sure to share it with your friends.

*2 - Summer Sizzles eBook Sale – www.imajinbooks.com/sale (live link on July 6): Most of our ebooks will be priced at $0.99 or $1.99 from July 6-12, on Amazon & Smashwords (coupon codes for latter). Bundles are also discounted.

3 - Summer Sizzles Facebook Party: For one evening only, Sunday, July 12th, we'll be holding a Facebook Party online and giving away prizes (ebooks and gift cards from Amazon). The party begins at 4:00 PM PDT (Pacific!) and goes until 8:00 PM PDT on July 12. Join us at: https://www.facebook.com/events/484341911728130. Be sure to invite all your friends!

From everyone at Imajin Books, we hope this year your summer really SIZZLES! Happy reading! :-)


Wednesday, 1 July 2015

IWSG day! Why Book Tours are Expensive (More Comedy on the Road)


IWSG Badge

Welcome, IWSGers!  I write comedies, so most of the posts here are somewhat silly.  And yes, I am insecure about book tours. 

You'll see why...
Every word below is part of a true account.

By Melodie Campbell

I’ve recently been on a book tour for my latest crime comedy, The Artful Goddaughter.

Book tours are expensive.  You travel around to independent book stores and you sell some books and sign them.  It’s fun.  You meet a lot of great people.  But it’s expensive.  And I’m not talking about the hotel bill and the bar tab.

I should have just stayed in the bar.  It was leaving the bar that become expensive.

Nice night.  We decided to go for a walk.  It was dark, but I had on my brand new expensive progressive eye-glasses, so not a problem, right?

One second I was walking and talking.  The next, I was flying through the air.

Someone screamed. 

WHOMP.  (That was me, doing a face plant.)

“OHMYGOD! Are you okay?”  said my colleague.

I was clearly not okay.  In fact, I was splat on the sidewalk and could not move. 

“Fine!” I yelled into the flagstone.  “I’m Fine!”

I tried to lift my head.  Ouch.

“That must have hurt,” said someone helpfully.

I write about a mob Goddaughter. So I know a bit about mob take-outs.  It may come in handy.

A crowd had gathered.  Not the sort of crowd that gently lifts you off the ground.  More the sort of crowd that gawks.

“Couldn’t figure out why you were running ahead of us.” My colleague shook his head.

I wasn’t running.  I was tripping and falling.

“That sidewalk is uneven.  Your foot must have caught on it.”

No shit, Sherlock.

By now I had tested various body parts.  Knees were numb.  Hands, scraped.  Chin, a little sore. 

But here’s the thing.  I hit in this order: knees, tummy, boobs, palms.  My tummy and boobs cushioned the fall and saved my face.  

Yes, this was going through my mind as I pushed back with my tender palms to balance on my bloody knees.

“Ouch!”  I said.  No, that’s a lie.  I said something else.

I stood up.  Surveyed the damage.  My knees were a bloody mess, but the dress survived without a scratch.  It was made in China, of course.  Of plastic.

The crowd was dispersing.  But the pain wasn’t over.

Next day, I hobbled to the clinic.  The doctor, who probably isn’t old enough to drive a car, shook his head.  “Progressive glasses are the number one reason seniors fall.  They are looking through the reading part of their glasses when they walk, and can’t see the ground properly.”

Seniors?  I’ve still got my baby fat.

“Get some distance-only glasses,” he advised.

So I did.  Another 350 bucks later, I have a third pair of glasses to carry around in my purse.

Which means my purse isn’t big enough.

So I need to buy a new purse.

And that’s why book tours are so expensive.

Melodie Campbell got her start writing standup, and now writes comedies. (No shit, Sherlock.)  You can find them at all the usual book places.


Be sure to check out other great blogs on the IWSG Day Tour here:
http://www.insecurewriterssupportgroup.com/p/iwsg-sign-up.html


Tuesday, 23 June 2015

Stomping on the Box (reprinted from The Sage News Network)



By Melodie Campbell (Bad Girl)

It has recently been reported that the local symphony orchestra is in deep financial doo doo.  The numbers coming in don’t match the numbers going out anymore, and the chorus has become operatic.

For some reason, management is paralysed.  They don’t seem to know where to start. 

Lucky for them, I am here to help.  Time to economize, and I’ve got a plan.  In the true spirit of generosity, I have agreed to devote a total of ten minutes to this problem.

It’s really a question of numbers.  We simply need to attack the figures like an accountant, and make the necessary cut-backs.  To that end, I’ve tabled a list of ten cost-saving solutions.

The ‘Why didn’t I think of that’ suggestions:

1.   Is it necessary to have three or four movements of a symphony?   Everyone knows the slow parts are a drag.  Cut them out.
2.   A Chamber Orchestra is simply wasteful.  Make them a quartet, and they can play in smaller quarters. 
3.  Do we really need four trombones all playing the same note?  Knock it back to one, and use an amp.   
4.  I’m sure violas must have a purpose, but we’re downsizing, Sister.  Get a violin.
5.   On that note <sic>, nobody, but nobody, wants to hear 16 strident violins. 

The ‘Not only were we thinking out of the box, we actually stomped on the box’ suggestions:

6.  The 1812 Overture becomes the 1610.
7.  Tosca can throw herself off a picnic table instead of a rooftop.
8.  Every suite should be reduced to a bachelor pad.
9.  Replace the oboe player with a duck.
10  Finally:  does anyone, anywhere, ever need THREE TENORS?


Ten solutions, people, in ten minutes.  Now really…was that so difficult?

Melodie Campbell is a comedy writer from back in the Paleolithic era.  You can buy her “hilarious” Goddaughter mob caper series at Chapters, and all the usual places.

Wednesday, 17 June 2015

The Black Dog Lives Part Time at my House



(a serious post, just to prove I can write one)

Dammit, I’m insecure again.

I have two dogs.  Frankenpoodle is friendly ginger giant of a mutt who lies on the couch next to me as I write.

The other one is black.

The black dog has no name, but haunts me like a ghost.  It wanders in and out of my life, with no listed itinerary.  One minute, I can be writing the best novel of my career.  The next day, I am in a straight-jacket of doubt, unable to type.

It shouldn’t be thus.  No one believes I do this dance with the black dog.  Not me, the comedy writer.  People expect black comedy, maybe.  But not the dark shadow of the black dog.  

I am not first by far.  Better and far more famous writers than me have been stalked by this crippling creature. That is some consolation.  Good company is always a blessing.

I’ve tried numerous things to shoo it away.

1.      Awards
We authors long to win awards and be recognized by a jury of our peers.  For some, it is the pinnacle of acceptance, the final reassurance that we are not writing crap.

I’ve won 10 awards.  I won three big ones last year.  It felt great.  It should be all any writer needs, for the rest of their life.

Every author knows you can’t win every award every year.  You can’t even expect to be shortlisted two years in a row.  So why does one feel particularly inadequate when the inevitable happens, after a particularly good year?

2.      Sales
Your first book has stellar sales.  Your second book gets two awards, but sales aren’t quite as good.  Your third book in the series gets no awards, but sales are steady.  Still not as stellar as book one though.

With my first book, I would have been happy if 400 people had bought and read it.  Then, it was 4000.  Now, I won’t be satisfied until 40,000 have bought and read it.  Reaching for sales is soul-sucking.  You can never sell enough.  The next plateau is always beyond reach. No one will ever be satisfied.

3.       Book contracts
Your publisher says they want the next book in your series.  You give a sigh of relief.  You are not a ‘homeless’ author looking for a new publisher, like some of your colleagues right now in this heartless industry.

So you start to plan the next book in your series.  And the black dog sits over your shoulder, panting.  Will this one be as funny as the last?  What if it isn’t any good?  Will this be the last book of your career?

You sit paralyzed.  Fear that you will never write anything as good as your last book becomes a cold mist you can't find your way out of.

You start to wonder why you even thought you wanted to be a writer.

You wonder why you have this need to write, when those around you seem to be satisfied with their lives, and even happy, without ever putting themselves through this torture.

Imagine.  Being happy in life without writing fiction.  Would it be possible?

And then you get an email from a reader who loves your last book and is asking about the next.
And then your royalty statement arrives and it is something more than a meal out for two at Ruth’s Chris.
The black dog recedes for now.
You start writing.  The words become a torrent.  They hold you.  Feed you.  You’re whole again.
For now.

Wednesday, 10 June 2015

Thank you, Hamilton Literacy Council!

Truly honoured to receive this stunning engraved blown glass award from the Hamilton Literacy Council, and to be the keynote speaker at their AGM. Laughter and tears, and a night to remember.
And all because of The Goddaughter series.



 June 10, 2015
The Scottish Rite, Hamilton Ontario

Saturday, 6 June 2015

WEDDING TODAY!

Off to the Chapel!  Alex and Nate get married today.
Frankenpoodle is an usher!
Will post photos after the happy day  :)